It’s another surprise Valentine’s Day edition of Youthquake; get into it below.
Rihanna is wearing a YSL heart-shaped coat.
Last year I wrote, “currently, the world is in a desperate state. We’re pulled apart not only by a horrific deadly pandemic but also by the killer forces of heinous politicians, capitalism, and never-ending online competitive lifestyles of one-upping and clout. Many of us feel the alienation that comes with this ongoing pandemic; separation is hell and feels rather dooming. It hasn’t been easy, and it still won’t be, but I’m fortunate to have ‘escapes’ to get me through these truly unprecedented fucked up times.”
Not much has changed in a year; governments are in a perpetual useless state in the face of accountability, resources, and proactiveness— while still in an ongoing pandemic. The global desire for positivity was rightful, but as with most vetted public interests, it became a weird toxic level and needed for churning out constant happiness. While a ‘good vibes’ approach to life is wise, considering the current worldly contrast of reality— toxic positivity can easily get lost in its optimistic facade. The idea is nice in theory but overall hollow as it’s devoid of processing actual emotions or experiences in favor of denial and a constant mask of ‘happiness.’ A ‘look on the bright side’ person will seemingly think nothing of replying with a simple and curt “everything happens for a reason”— that may be true for some. Still, the statement above does little to comfort a person’s sentiments when it’s invalidating and avoiding someone else’s emotions. Good vibes, Palo Santo, and smudging can’t be the answer to every problem; unfortunately, we can’t ‘love and light’ our way through life’s muck, just like it’s not avoiding and going hermit mode until it accumulates for me. Yet the most frustrating thing is also the most necessary— dealing, processing, and owning the worst things about ourselves. That way, we can find our way back into happiness instead of thinking we can control it as if it’s a choice.
As a self-aware moody person, there are some days when it’s hard to find any cheer. Although with years of trial and error, I’ve finally learned that managing my mental health helps to manipulate it rather than control it since there are times when I can’t or don’t have the strength. Something I’m currently experiencing is my very evident hiatus with Youthquake. Brushing off responsibilities to not deal with the unexpected death of my brother-in-law sent me into a shell-shocked place where I’m still coming down. However, ignoring my responsibilities to be more present with my nephews was healing for us all— life continued, and the evidence was stacked against me. A shameful overflowing E-mail inbox and actual mailbox are no longer easy to ignore, just like my inability to smile through the hurt. Deciding to restart therapy saved me so much time, and it’s those little wins that are small acts of radicalism that are self-care. Incorporating meditation— it’s done wonders to help me process my grief, deal with the shocking aftermath that haunts me at random times, and find my chill again. I still can’t believe meditation works for me; I never thought I’d be a “Love and Light” bitch as I’m too much of a realist to fully go “no thoughts and just vibes,” but now I understand the mysticism of George Harrison’s need for meditation and inner peace so much more.
Seemingly my self-love journey has led me to let go of toxic positivity and right into my detest of Valentine’s Day, which is all around me this weekend. Still, I will say that I’m a pro-romance and pro-Valentine’s aesthetic type of person. Still, Valentine’s is a celebratory capitalistic holiday that preys on making guilt obligatory for all— so what better excuse to invert that for a justified self-indulgent day? Corporate greed is damned; we all live in a (capitalist) society. Regardless of our relationship status, we also deserve to enjoy our favorite things that we brush off for whatever excuse. So enjoy the silly little things we appreciate that spark joy or love in our lives— serving as a reminder to romanticize the hell out of ourselves. As a radical act of protest amid culture wars and class warfare. We’ve seen the greedy underbelly of our capitalist society that Covid’s magnified, sadly, profits > people. Making it all the more crucial that self-care is a self-loving ritual that’s more than a performative niche online.
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, an act of political warfare.” — Audre Lorde.
I have a dedicated playlist for that in honor of Valentine’s Day. I’m publicly posting this once-private digital mixtape I’ve curated on/off for years. Enjoy! 💌
