The Profound Pleasures of the Autumn Season
A Continual Love Letter to the Seasonal Vibe
The TGIF lineup differs from our sincerely piqued interest in frivolous diversions during these wildly tumultuous times— only without the celebrity worship culture. The Round-Up below comes with a side of candor on pop culture and sometimes the cultural or societal mores; get into it below.
Being caught halfway between floundering from a recent ugly break-up while excitedly venturing off was terrifying. As we often fear the unknown, we allow it to hold us back in our safety nets. However, it’s when we trust ourselves to let go of that assumed unshakeable feeling to experience life through almost a childlike wonder that we lose throughout the years. I freed myself from the expectations of others— for the first time— by doing something for myself through a series of seeming misfortune and fortunate events that turned out to be a domino effect on my life back in the fall of 2013. Life began to change like the season exponentially for me nine years ago, and I became a new person by shaking free of my family’s piercing judgments. Plus a narcissistic and emotionally manipulative ex by realizing my deserving worth. I also quit my well-paying tech support job so I could return to school and even began to travel alone for the first time— both led me to meet new people on-and-offline who inspired and changed me in countless ways.
My newly empowered and independent way of life was a hypnotic new enticing adventure of change, much like the ever-changing colors of the autumn leaves. Yet I forgot about it until I was reminded of my penchant for autumn last year.
October is an eternal seasonal favorite; it’s my favorite of all seasons. The glow of the fall leaves changing signals a cozy and familiar warmth that feels like the comfort of home, ushering in a quiet maturity that fall brings with a slow burn of change. As if to prepare for the festive winter season. Even writing about my autumnal affinity last year is quite a difference in temperance and feeling more at peace, even though some days it doesn’t feel like it. Looking back at all that I’ve repressed, it’s no wonder I had nowhere else to go except to confront and process my suppressed emotions so I could let it all go. Suffering teaches us a lot, and while we can utilize our pain for teaching moments— so does understanding, love, and compassion.
Autumn last year was truly the biggest push to better me even further. Hibernating and processing a backlog of emotional turmoil, still realizing that I had to save myself from losing myself in the emotions that used to keep me down while taking others with me; no one but myself would aid me or rescue me by whisking me away for my life to ‘truly begin’— except for me. Having no feelings in favor of being either a deflective ice queen or a constant moody bitch was exhausting. I had to become my emotional heroine and savior to regulate the destabilized foundation I’ve endlessly written and circulated. The Autumn equinox symbolizes change, mystery, abundance, preservation, comfort, finding balance, and the release of letting go. Incorporating the metamorphosing season with this mental clarity meant embracing and admitting that I had lost myself in the dark forest of my mind’s twilight.
It took time to find a way out of the dark forest to unlearn conditioned ways— this miraculous feeling of peace of mind comes easier with time and, importantly, discipline. Learning to readapt to break destructive patterns, situations, and problems instead of relishing in the previous dark forest of self-sabotage to create a new, healthier mosaic pattern for ourselves.
It’s in finding ways out and learning healthy patterns through repeated failures that we learn what works and doesn’t. I’ve learned it’s not just something with an a-ha moment of clarity; it’s collections of moments that add up to steps that eventually progress to making bounds and leaps of being ahead of catching ourselves during those mind traps. The number of times I notice my words and judgments drip with insecurity or disdain– it’s something to do with me and my emotional triggers, not the other person. An unhealed person deflects from accountability, hides from the truth, and will fester in being called out. Perspective served as a slice of humble pie can be a bittersweet sense of realization that nourishes— if we allow it.
Going through life’s blusters and mishaps can be harsh, especially if you’re used to harshness; I certainly was at times. Perhaps the future I wanted to build for myself looks way different than expected, but that’s on me to fix rather than have life chip away at my shoulders while breaking down my soul and closing my heart. Conflict resolution requires bravery and courage, which isn’t my strong suit, yet it’s in finding those golden glimmering moments of faith that glisten like marshy fall leaves. Admittedly, it’s taken me a year to break the mental traps of wallowing in self-misery and alienation of the dark forest.
Except, now those skeletons in my closet I thought I cleverly locked away due to shame or the constant invalidation or emotional support growing up have been named and acknowledged— so that I may help myself move on and be free from the dusky cobwebs and hauntings of my mind.
Autumn is the meditative reset we desperately deserve time and time again, so go with the season and let life move in your direction like the brisk winds of change by repowering ourselves first and basking in the autumnal glory.
The cliché of so much can change in a year comes into play as every autumn is the season of recharging— it’s a paradox decaying yet still alive to welcome the cyclical preservation of life and maturity. So even if we fail some days or fall back into old patterns of destruction, being aware and holding ourselves accountable is progress. Taking exquisite care of ourselves as if we’re divine beings that flow effortlessly through the seasons is a personal transformation we each deserve; that’s the profound essentialness of autumn.
As a continual bonus, I created an accompanying film list for an autumnal vibe that honors and pairs well with the glowing vermillion and tawny-hued season. For added measure, I also added some rich contrast that fall brings with some classic black-and-white films.
Love Story (1970)
Mildred Pierce (1945)
On Golden Pond (1981)
Scent of a Woman (1992)
Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
Home for the Holidays (1995)
Goodwill Hunting (1997)
About Last Night (1986)
Dan in Real Life (2007)
Runaway Bride (1999)
The Village (2004)
As our over-saturated social media feeds try to weigh us down by doom scrolling to escape the news cycle with mindless pop culture nonsense, escapism is well-deserved. So for those like-minded nosy bitches like myself who love to not mind their business, even for just a bit, here’s the pop culture round-up we can’t get away from— or enough of, seemingly.
Vogue Magazine and the Metropolitan Museum of Art have announced the Met gala’s theme for 2023; get your diet coke, Choupette, and fingerless gloves ready for Karl Lagerfeld. The gala will take place on the first Monday in May, as it should, but if it’s anything like Halloween years ago— it’s not a captivating or inspiring choice; it’ll be an overprivileged sea of dullness.
Celebritiy hive mind. Image via Google. Speaking of Karl Lagerfeld, the insufferable and eternally creepy Jared Leto is producing and starring as the longtime acclaimed designer. Just what the world needs, more Jared Leto acting.
The artist formerly known as Kanye West continues his terrorizing fashion front with amorphous blobs that continues to fall flat. In his latest Fashion Week, this time in Paris, the attempt to be COMME des GARÇONS or the Rick Owens of couture is a miss. Derelict and hardware-free shapeless silhouettes are when boring meets messy when his latest ‘kneel before Zod’ stunt with political chess pawn and known troller, Candice Owens. Oh, also while using his children to promote— as he bashes the mother of his children for doing the same. So what does a stunt queen do when they get called out? Jump on a 30-min PJ flight and act as if nothing happened, but not “free thinker” Ye, going for the jugular in needing to defend his blatant attempt for attention with his t-shirt antics that spilled over to Fox News by going on Tucker Carlson’s show— this is how you have your finger on the pulse, whining and sputtering about how Gigi Hadid called him out and alleging that Hadid is doing Anna Wintour’s bidding— while still going after Vogue fashion editor Gabriella Karefa-Johnson. Also, now Lizzo. How exhausting it must be to live in such grand delusions of yes people and continue to blame women for pointed choices— like creating the illusion that the mother of his children was a personal mannequin, sexualizing her at every step until she was confident to own her sexuality on her terms.
Speaking of on the defense, JVN and Antoni’s attempt at announcing their business partnership, Yummers pet meal mix-ins was expected by everyone— except for the duo. Suppose you’re going to commit to being a stunt queen. In that case, you better shamelessly stand and deliver on all fronts— like the Balenciaga pantashoe girlies or the Black Swan reincarnated herself, Julia Fox.
Expensive doesn’t always mean good or stylish. Sometimes it’s plain silly; of course, Carrie Bradshaw would have the ugly and ridiculously Disney cartoony $890 JW Anderson Pigeon clutch while on the set of And Just Like That….
For all of those with similar Italy summer vacation FOMO, Rebecca Jennings writes about the latest Instagram capital and the cultural obsession with competitiveness, and the myth of having the best via VOX.
Robert Eggers’ Focus Film produced-Nosferatu was simultaneously upgraded and downgraded, twice, by the initial casting of Anya Taylor-Joy and Harry Styles, but scheduling conflicts led to recasting with Bill Skarsgård and, nepo baby, Lily Rose-Depp in leading roles. Nothing against Styles or Depp; both have loyal fanbases and “great gowns, beautiful gowns.”
Cutting my vacation short due to Hurricane Ian was surreal and scary for someone who lives in a tornado state. I apologize for the delay in posting; the first few days were rocky. Our rental home was canceled en route to Florida, leaving us dishearted and almost defeated. Alas, somehow, things turned up— until so did my lunch on the first day visiting a theme park. Ignorance was bliss as I breathed in the salty breeze and lived carefreely, even maybe too much, as I forgot my laptop, causing me to use a spare that my sister kept bogarting. Even though it was hers, how dare she— I eventually gave up and took in the rest of the time as much as possible.
Enjoying the sun’s radiance a little too indulgently, still healing a sunburn that I’m annoyed at myself for— as if I learned nothing from the heat blisters that one childhood summer that left me in tears. Not particularly rattled about the storm until the day before it hit and saw the panic of strangers loading up on gas and water jugs. It wasn’t their first rodeo, but it sure was mine. I thank the kind stranger, or earth angel as I call him, who warned me of the storm’s severity and to evacuate as soon as I got home. Heeding the sage advice from a disappearing stranger, we were fortunate enough to evacuate early.
Currently, I’m readjusting to normalcy— whatever that is, to find time in my busy schedule to write with a newly reinvigorated passion that doesn’t even recognize my previous saboteur of imposter syndrome. I’m re-enjoying horror films again, which I couldn’t bear last year. Still playing catch-up with new releases; I’m planning to rewatch Blonde (2001) before finally watching Blonde (2022), but finding six hours this first week back seemed impossible. Good thing for lazy weekends, my other eternal favorite.
Con Amor,
Naomi x