This week we rounded up the latest for Netflix’s Pamela, a love story, The Style Files, and a mini Cold Brew roundup. Get into it below.
Life can seem like an embattled neverending emotional obstacle course, complete with tumultuous levels to overcome, which challenge us to rise— or fall, even stay in place. Being reminded of this with my current ironic, stuck-in-place mentality without electricity due to another unforeseen Texas freeze, I decidedly wanted to escape and perhaps gain insight with Pamela Anderson’s Netflix special.
Ironically, this time last year, Hulu had a Pam-centric new series debuting with Sebastian Stan as her ex-husband Tommy and Lily James as the pop culture luminary. Conversely, it came highly recommended by friends on and offline, but my spidey sense (intuition) warned me not to watch. Something about them not getting Pam’s blessing, only Tommy’s praise, didn’t sit right with me. Now, I’m glad I didn’t and instead chose to watch Pamela’s story in her own words since I gained a further affinity and respect for someone so daring and effervescently real.
Pamela Anderson usually doesn’t come to mind when thinking of strength, yet she completely embodies the word. Akin to the material she gravitates to, Pam is like fine expensive vintage silk as it can transform its ability to durably stretch or bend with such traversing ease. Yet, it can also be soft and lustrous— depending on her mood, but both are who she is. Plucky and a survivalist to her core, Pam defies perceptions years beyond her initial introduction with her being a ‘Tool Girl’ on Home Improvement and Baywatch— which I confess that I watched both with my family as unsupervised young kids. Of course, CJ was among my sisters and my favorite free-spirit romantic.
Growing up during that time, Pam was inescapable. She has such light energy, even still, and undeniable charm. There was something about her wide-brimmed hats with all the assorted embellishments paired with her spikiest heels or her upscale farmers market looks, Alexis Vogel makeup (the ‘00s ad is still engrained in my brain), and hair as bouncy as her personality that won over men— and the women who wanted or were trained to hate her. I could never, not when she was like a Barbie except badass and funny in real life, as I say Barbie with adoration. My sisters and I were even obsessed with the MTV Cribs episode of her dreamy Malibu cottage, which had the romanticism of Victorian vintage-laced and that flowery Sofia Coppola aesthetic— otherwise highly known then as shabby chic.
Despite being known as a global sex symbol, it’s a safe assumption that Pam’s always been far more than that. She’s a pop culture icon— a blueprint. Even more than that, Pamela Anderson possesses a duality of strength often overlooked because of her proclivity toward feminity or the comfortability of her sexual prowess. Easily a targeted punchline to many insecure and sexist men, also women who weren’t comfortable with Pam owning and knowing who she still is or that she stood in her power. However, she was chess moves ahead and with such wit. Despite such grim moments of gloom throughout her life, Pam’s inner glowing spirit never broke— she has that shimmer that Barb & Star talked about. Also, Florence Welch and her Machine in Dream Girl Evil.
The viewers see Pamela eclipse every disappointing man she’s dated, married, or otherwise, as the binary thinking of the Madonna-whore dichotomy from which the ‘90s ascended into the masses. Women were categorized into either box for society’s expectations, even for many elders who believe in archaic religious gender roles still. Like many other women, Pam isn’t meant to be encased.
Continually surviving mistreatment and rampant sexism throughout her life, she’s far more than just the stale identifiers such as model/actress/muse/girlfriend— Pam falls into the bold and brazen category of empowering women in their lifetime. For me, she also falls into a category of other legendary ‘90s white women that helped overprotected church girls like me challenge many sexual perceptions throughout my life. Other legends like Madonna, Drew Barrymore, Fiona Apple, Sarah Michelle Geller, and many more secretly helped me embrace the revolutionary idea that young women should be empowered to explore without labels that comes with other people’s discomfort and misogyny.
Being and feeling sexy on our terms and without the notion tied to men is an ageless mentality even in adulthood, with emotional maturity fluctuating in many. Women can own our sexuality; we don’t have to be virginal saints (who is, and who cares?) to be respected or have mutual human empathy, as no person is innocent. Each of us has checkered pasts that we deal with even still, and that illusion of a perfect woman— or person— on a pedestal shouldn’t exist.
It’s the same admirable way Pam arises— like a phoenix rebirthed every time. Down to her gracious and optimistic unwavering capacity for something so precious yet so severe— love in all its utmost delicateness and sincere vulnerability with a balanced and reciprocated love during her lifetime. The exception is loving and choosing yourself rather than staying in something miserably deceptive, which is no way to live or love.
Look, what I’ve gone through has only made me stronger. Anything you survive does. And I’ve learned a lot of lessons about patience and separating myself from all the garbage. One of them is that you have to believe that everything is a blessing, even if it’s one in disguise. You can get through it if you trust that it’s all for a reason. — Pamela Anderson.
Netflix’s Pamela, a love story is streaming globally.
A round-up of some memorable favorites, whether past or present. Also, the occasional mystifying misfires that we can’t get over— or understand.
Fashionably late on my behalf, but I still love this look. Plus, once a Valentino girl, always a Valentino Lady— Anne Hathaway rarely disappoints.
Cardi B in a beautifully flowing and constructed electric blue Gaurav Gupta for the Grammys.
Quinta Brunson recently sitting front row of Christian Siriano, looking her best Carmen Sandiego gone old money goth.
The hoopskirt is making its re-entrance; I’m not against the theatricality of this look.
🧊 Pop Culture Cold Brew Roundup
Reports allege that Andrew Garfield has been cast as Frankenstein’s Monster, opposite Oscar Isaac as Dr. Frankenstein via Giant Freakin Robot. Until this is confirmed, please respect my privacy at this time.
Rihanna is coming back. It’s been 82 years.
Harrison Ford being himself, is always a grumpy but real treat during interviews. Nevertheless, his ability to completely detach from endless discourse in his notorious way yet speaks on therapy and philosophy as he does via THR. He’s one of the last true movie stars and should continue to be revered. Although, I’m still apprehensive about a new Indy film because Crystal Skull was something.
Lately, I’ve been catching up on sleep and focusing on working away from writing, as the Texas freeze was a nice break from my writer’s block. I watched plenty of movies, although none were new, and still avoiding cuffing season. As an abolitionist, I’ve been resisting the cuff. Since, like Pamela, there’s a tacky archived taste in some men of my past. The dynamic has been interesting when being forthright about what’s expected or desired upfront, as I loathe wasting my time and surprises. Being emotionally mature and hyper-independent eventually results in resentment in my heteronormative relationships because the power dynamic isn’t what is expected.
I refuse to let someone’s outdated gender role/power play bullshit suppress who I am or what I want to do in life. I refuse to stand down from ever standing in my power again. The right, confident person will understand.
Regardless if this makes me less appealing to certain men that can’t handle it, I’m not for male consumption. I’ll always have the freedom to choose, and I’ll continue living single or untethered than dating someone easily emasculated by confident self-determined women. I’d rather wait for someone who fully supports who I am or who I can be and understands my cheesy love languages — and how to love me. Until then, dating will continue to be awful and full of uncomfortable but necessary questions.
Still, for the time being— my priority is making this upcoming Valentine’s day another devoted self-care day to treat myself, as I firmly believe that romanticizing yourself is eternal, even if you’re not single. As Miley crooned, I can buy myself flowers.
P. S. A belated thank you to the enchanting Alex from
for helping me with the Longing & Desire playlist for our January Blues post. My brain fog has been annoyingly real.Con Amor
Naomi x